SPRING — 2010 1
Issue No. 95
Well Spouse Association
Support for Spousal Caregivers — You Are Not Alone DATELINES…
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A I N S TAY
Endangered Memories
A devoted wife makes a New Year's resolution to recall for her husband the Hawaii memories stolen by Alzheimer's
By Ceil Sinnex ew Year's Eve four years ago started out like any other day, if you take into account the fact that Dec. 31 is my birthday as well as the world's day for remembering "auld lang syne," Scottish for "the old long since," or the good old days long gone. I went out to celebrate my birthday at a library in the Virginia countryside. My husband, John, declined to accompany me, not unusual for him. John had a cough, but his doctor had ruled out anything serious. The cough seemed unconnected to his all-too-familiar disinterest in my birthday. We sparred briefly over who would top up the gas tank, and off I went. I took for granted that our car drove like a dream and that I would return to a well-maintained home, though both were strictly thanks to John's energy and skills. I assumed -- as who wouldn't -- that John would still be John that evening. But when I opened our front door at 5 p.m., I found our house under siege by a stranger who merely looked like John: physically fit, with his signature seacaptain's beard. His face was red. He talked in gibberish, and wandered through our split-level house slamming drawers and doors. Our 85-pound dog, Rokita, trailed him, whining. Bang. Crash. In the garage, John tried to start the car with his index finger. I raced up our two flights of stairs, and collected and hid all the car keys. Back in the garage, I struggled to keep my voice even. "That won't work," I said. "Come on inside." John-the-stranger reeled back into the house, careened up the stairs. "Aaaargh." "Ugh." These otherworldly sounds had an angry pitch. In our kitchen, the interloper struggled to fasten a belt around his waist. Unable to operate the buckle, he emitted muffled shouts. Rokita yelped. My mind raced.

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